Marriage

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."
"There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will."
"Never Let anyone tell you that you can't; show them that you can."
"The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th."
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
"My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked."
"Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he's not the man she married?"
"As Unto the bow the the cord is ,So unto the man is woman;Though she bends him, she obeys him,Though she draws him , yet she follows-Useless each without the other."
"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him."
"It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive."
"My first wife said, 'It's either thatguitar or me,' you know -- and I giveyou three guesses which one went."