Humour

"Do you hate people?I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."
"I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable."
"I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks."
"No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it"
"If you neglected to warn Djetth beforehand that you were going to shoot him down, Your Highness, he may consider you in breach of contract...-- Rhett"
"Rhett- If you've made up your mind to impale someone, do it with conviction."
"My patience has dreadful chilblains from standing so long on a monument."
"If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather."
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."