Terry Pratchett

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."
"It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it."
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."
"Soon to come in licorice, orange, cinnamon, and banana, but not strawberry, because I hate strawberries."
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
"It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life."
"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
"I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted."
"Everywhere I look, I see something holy."
"A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read."
"Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken."
"It was lonely on the hill, and cold. And all you could do was keep going. You could scream, cry, and stamp your feet, but apart from making you feel warmer, it wouldn’t do any good. You could say it was unfair, and that was true, but the universe didn’t care because it didn’t know what fair meant. That was the big problem about being a witch. It was up to you. It was always up to you."