Lemony Snicket

"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict."
"No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read."
"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like."
"Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck."
"But there are times in this harum-scarum world when figuring out the right thing to do is quite simple, but doing the right thing is simply impossible...."
"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them."
"Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness."
"Well-read people are less likely to be evil."
"It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it."
"There are two kinds of fears- rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't."
"A bolt from the blue."
"A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them."