Kurt Vonnegut

"How nice -- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
"1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them."
"A saint is a person who behaves decently in a shockingly indecent society."
"You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too. And you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food."
"I had taught myself that a human being might as well look for diamond tiaras in the gutter as for rewards and punishments that were fair."
"Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything."
"One of the few good things about modern times- If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us."
"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all."
"Life is no way to treat an animal."
"The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest."
"Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic."
"All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental."